The effects of praise: 7 evidence-based tips for using praise wisely

© 2022 Gwen Dewar, Ph.D., all rights reserved

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What are the effects of praise? Information technology depends. Praise can heave skilful feelings and increment motivation. It can inspire children to exist more cooperative, persistent, and hard-working. Simply some kids bristle in response to praise, and even those who like praise can experience negative effects. Here's how to make certain that praise helps — and doesn't damage — our kids.

In traditional cultures around the world, parents used to avert praise. They worried that too much praise would inflate the ego. Make children overconfident. As well full of themselves.

But today, things are different. Many people believe that praise is an constructive manner to reinforce good behavior.

What does the science say?

In that location'due south no question nearly it. Encephalon studies point that we respond to social approval in much the same manner that we respond to monetary rewards (Bhangi and Delgado 2015). Praise feels good. And sure types of praise can lead to helpful outcomes.

For case, experiments suggest that kids can benefit from vague, cheerful messages.

An enthusiastic exclamation ("wow!") or a supportive gesture (like a high five) can engender adept feelings. It may likewise motivate children to try again after a failure (Morris and Zentall 2014).

Similarly, there'south prove thatprocedure praise can be motivating.

"Process praise" is praise that recognizes a child's choices or difficult work, due east.one thousand.,

• "Well done!"
• "I similar the style you tried to sound that word out, instead of only giving up."
• "I can tell you've been practicing!"

Done correct, this sort of praise can inspire kids to opens in a new windowkeep working at challenging tasks (eastward.grand., Kelley et al 2000; Henderlong and Lepper 2002; Gunderson et al 2013; Gunderson et al 2018a; Gunderson et al 2018b).

Process praise can too foster the most essential attitude for success — the belief that we can improve ourselves through endeavor. As I note elsewhere, opens in a new window experiments evidence we learn improve when nosotros comprehend this belief.

There are also hints that praise for prosocial behavior can assistance young children develop skillful "people skills."

For instance, consider what happens when you encourage and praise a babe for being helpful.

• "Await! Maria dropped something. She can't reach it. Practice you desire to help her?"
• "Cheers! You lot're such a proficient helper!"

In an experiment on xiii- to 18-month-old babies, infants who received this kind of feedback went on to assistance more frequently. Given the opportunity, they helpedtwice as oft as children who received no such guidance (Dahl et al 2017).

At that place is also evidence that older children — preschoolers — develop better social skills when we praise them for displaying good manners (Garner 2006; Hastings et al 2007).

Only it's not all good. Praise can likewise have negative effects.

Studies suggest that some types of praise can actually undermine your child's motivation (due east.g., Mizokawa 2018; Xing et al 2018).

Depending on the circumstances, praise may as well damage a child's self esteem, or fuel the evolution of narcissism (Brummelman et al 2017).

And of form some children dislike receiving praise. They hate the attention, or feel embarrassed by it. They might regard the praise to exist undeserved, or insincere.

And then how nosotros avert the bad stuff, and brand sure we're using praise wisely?

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Here are some bear witness-based guidelines

1. Recollect that kids need our back up and encouragement all the time — not just when they've achieved something praiseworthy.

Praise tin be benign, only it isn't the merely style that parents communicate their approval, acceptance, encouragement, love.

Kids need to know they have this support — specially at times when they are feeling lost, angry, or overwhelmed.

And so yet your family handles the use of praise, exist sure to consider the big movie: The overall warmth and supportiveness of your family relationships. And discover ways to encourage kids when they've failed — not but when they've succeeded.

Once heady (and easy to learn) approach is outlined in my article, "Correcting beliefs: The magic words that assist kids cope with mistakes."

In addition, see my guides to opens in a new windowpositive parenting and emotion coaching, as well my commodity nearly opens in a new windowrebellion and children's needs for autonomy, and these opens in a new windowevidence-based tips for treatment disruptive or ambitious behavior.

2. Sentinel out for insincere praise — it can trigger bad feelings.

Kids might call up we feel sad for them, or that nosotros are trying to be manipulative. Insincere praise might also send the message that we don't really understand our children (Henderlong and Lepper 2002).

Exercise these issues arise for very young children? Maybe not. Only once kids become mature enough to analyze our behavior and motives, they may get sensitive to the effects of insincere praise (Mizokawa 2018). For many children, this shift occurs around the age of iv or 5 years.

3. Be careful, too, about using extreme praise.

Yous're perfect! You're incredibly skillful at this!

Even if children believe we're sincere, this kind of inflated, over-the-meridian praise tin lead to problem. It sets a crazy-high standard. How can a child hope to maintain it?

Once once again, the youngest children might non perceive a problem. They lack the insight to worry well-nigh their hereafter functioning.

Merely as kids mature, things alter. They don't want to lose our respect and approval. So when they run across a new claiming, they dorsum off. They don't want to adventure failure. They don't want to look bad.

Experiments suggest that children with low self esteem are especially prone to this effect (Brummelman et al 2014). And when researchers tracked 120 school-aged kids over time, they found worrying trends (Brummelman et al 2017). Kids who received lots of inflated praise from their parents were more probable to experience negative psychological outcomes:

• Kids with low self-esteem at the first of the report were less likely to ameliorate.
• Kids with average levels of self-esteem were more probable to get worse.
• And kids with high self-esteem went in a different direction. They were more probable to become narcissistic.

4. Avoid praising kids for achievements that come easily.

As kids go older, they go savvy to the implications. Either

1. you're clueless about like shooting fish in a barrel nature of the task, or
2. yous have low expectations nigh a child's abilities (Meyer 1992).

How early does this awareness sally? It'due south hard to know, and it doubtless depends cultural factors.

For example, if yous live in a society where praise is rare, you probably won't accept the opportunity to learn that praise can be patronizing (Salili and Hau 1994).

But in places like the gimmicky U.s.a. — where praise is common — kids show this agreement during the simple school years (Barker and Graham 1987).

five. Praise kids for things they can control —non for existence gifted with special abilities.

Yous're then smart! You've got talent!

This praise might seem calculated to heave cocky-esteem and increase a kid's motivation. And it might work that way. Sometimes.

Only research suggests that this kind of praise can backfire. And it'due south for the aforementioned reason we've already mentioned: Kids tin get worried about maintaining a loftier standard.

Ballad Dweck and her colleagues have demonstrated the effect in a series of experimental studies. When we praise kids for their ability, kids become more cautious. They avoid challenges.

Kids might likewise go the message that intelligence or talent is something that people either have or don't have. This leaves kids feeling helpless when they make mistakes. What's the point of trying to improve if your mistakes indicate that you lack intelligence?

For these reasons, Dweck thinks it'southward better to avoid praising kids for ability. Instead, praise them for things that they tin can clearly alter — like their level of effort or the strategies they use. For more data on the opens in a new windoweffects of praise on intellectual functioning, click here.

6. Beware of over-praising kids for doing things they enjoy

It'south okay to praise kids for doing what they like to do. Merely exist careful not to go overboard—particularly with older kids. When y'all praise kids every time they practise something they savour, it might actually reduce their motivation (Henderlong and Lepper 2002).

For example, suppose that Adam loves to eat broccoli. But every time he eats broccoli, his mom praises him for it. Consciously or unconsciously, Adam starts to question his motivation. Is he eating broccoli only for the praise? Adam changes his attitude toward broccoli-eating. It's a task, not a pleasance. If the praise ends, Adam loses interest in eating broccoli.

Does this sort of thing really happen? Information technology's been well-documented in cases where people are given tangible rewards each time they perform a particular beliefs (e.m., giving your child some coin each fourth dimension he eats broccoli). The feedback appears to re-set a person'southward attitude (Lepper and Henderlong 2000).

There'southward less research showing that social rewards—similar praise—can produce the same effect. However, a encephalon study reveals that social rewards (like praise) and tangible rewards (like money) actuate the same regions of the brain (Izuma et al 2008). And a food-tasting experiment performed on children found that praise, like tangible rewards, made kids like a nutrient less (Birch et al 1984).

7.Avoid praise that compares your child to others

At starting time blush, it might seem like a good idea to praise kids for out-performing their peers. After all, research has shown that such social-comparison praise enhances a child's motivation and enjoyment of a task (see review in Henderlong and Lepper 2002).

But in that location are at least 2 big problems with social-comparison praise.

Problem #i: Social-comparing praise is only motivating as long equally kids go on to finish first.

If their competitive edge slips, kids are probable to lose motivation.

In essence, kids who are accustomed to social-comparing praise go poor losers.

Consider this experiment on American 4th and 5th graders (Corpus et al 2006). Kids were given a set of puzzles to complete and received either

• social-comparison praise
• mastery praise (i.e., comments well-nigh how the kid had mastered the job), or
• no praise at all

Adjacent, kids completed a 2nd task. This time they were left without clear feedback about how they'd washed.

How did this uncertainty affect each child's motivation?

Information technology depended on what kind of praise kids had received earlier. Those who had received social comparison praise suffered a loss of motivation. Merely kids who had received mastery praise showed enhanced motivation.

Trouble #two: Social-comparison praise teaches kids that competitive continuing, not mastery, is the goal.

When kids decide that the goal is to outperform other kids, they lack intrinsic motivation for a chore. Piece of work is simply interesting insofar as it permits them to show that they are the best.

Even worse, these kids are and so wrapped upwardly in maintaining their competitive standing that they avert challenges and opportunities to larn. Why tackle something new and take a chance failure? Social-comparison praise doesn't prepare kids for coping with failure. Instead of trying to acquire from their mistakes, these kids reply by feeling helpless (Elliot and Dweck 1988).

More to read

If this article was helpful, yous might also relish these Parenting Science offerings virtually guiding children:

• opens in a new windowEvidence-based tips for educational activity empathy
• opens in a new windowPositive parenting
• opens in a new windowPraise and intelligence
• opens in a new windowPreschool social skills
• opens in a new windowSocial skills activities
• opens in a new windowDidactics self-control
• opens in a new windowWhat's wrong with classroom behavior charts?

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References: The effects of praise

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Barker GP and Graham S. 1987. Developmental study of praise and blame as attributional cues. Journal of educational psychology 79(1) 62-66.

Birch LL, Marlin DW, and Rotter J. 1984. Eating as the "ways" activity in a contingency: Effects on young children'south nutrient preference. Child Development 55: 431-439.

Brummelman E, Thomaes South, Orobio de Castro B, Overbeek Thou, Bushman BJ. 2014. "That's not but beautiful–that's incredibly cute!": the adverse impact of inflated praise on children with low self-esteem. Psychol Sci. 25(three):728-35.

Brummelman East, Thomaes S, Overbeek G, Orobio de Castro B, van den Hout MA, Bushman BJ. 2014b. opens in a new windowOn feeding those hungry for praise: person praise backfires in children with low self-esteem. J Exp Psychol Gen. 143(1):nine-14.

Brummelman Due east, Nelemans SA, Thomaes Southward, Orobio de Castro B. 2017. When Parents' Praise Inflates, Children'due south Self-Esteem Deflates. Child Dev. 88(six):1799-1809.

Corpus J, Ogle C, and Honey-Geiger Chiliad. 2006. The Effects of Social-Comparison Versus Mastery Praise on Children'south Intrinsic Motivation. Motivation and Emotion 30(4): 333-343.

Dahl A, Satlof-Bedrick ES, Hammond SI, Drummond JK, Waugh WE, Brownell CA. 2017. Dev Psychol. 53(3):407-416

Elliot ES and Dweck C. 1988. Goals: An approach to motivation and achievement. Journal of personality and social psychology 54: five-12.

Garner PW. 2006. Prediction of prosocial and emotional competence from maternal behavior in African American preschoolers. Cultur Divers Indigenous Small Psychol. 12(two):179-98.

Gunderson EA, Gripshover SJ, Romero C, Dweck CS, Goldin-Meadow South, Levine SC. 2013. Parent praise to 1- to 3-twelvemonth-olds predicts children's motivational frameworks 5 years afterward. Child Dev. 84(5):1526-41.

Gunderson EA, Donnellan MB, Robins RW, Trzesniewski KH. 2018. The specificity of parenting effects: Differential relations of parent praise and criticism to children's theories of intelligence and learning goals. J Exp Child Psychol. 173:116-135.

Gunderson EA, Sorhagen NS, Gripshover SJ, Dweck CS, Goldin-Meadow Southward, Levine SC. 2018. Parent praise to toddlers predicts quaternary course bookish achievement via children'south incremental mindsets. Dev Psychol. 54(iii):397-409

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Salili F and Hau KT. 1994. The effects of teachers' evaluative feedback on Chinese students' perceptions of ability: A cultural and situational analysis. Educational Studies 20: 223-236.

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Content of "Effects of praise" last modified 12/2019

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